In a sales meeting you do not ask the client to decide or to choose. Deciding takes understanding, and asking for a decision from someone who does not yet understand is not a courtesy. It puts a load on them, and the natural answer to a load is to put it off.
That sounds like the opposite of good manners. Letting the client choose feels like good service. The source argues the reverse, and bluntly.
The rule that does not sound polite
According to the source, nobody from the public should ever be put in the position of having to decide or pick. It is one of the sharpest rules in the material, and it cuts against everything that sounds polite.
The reasoning is very short: “in order to decide, one has to understand.”
Everything else follows from that line. If the client does not yet see the difference between the options, asking them to pick one is not respect for what they want. It asks them to do work they do not have the tools for.
And the human reaction to that kind of request is familiar to anyone who has ever sold anything. The client does not say no. They say they will think about it.
What asking for a decision looks like in a meeting
Most of the time it does not sound like a request at all. It sounds like service.
Suppose an owner asks a client which package suits them, the basic or the extended. The question sounds attentive and considerate. In practice he is asking the client to rule between two things whose difference the client cannot see.
Now suppose the same owner says he recommends the extended one, and gives two lines on why. He asked for no decision, and he handed over understanding. The decision is one the client can now make on their own.
The difference between the two versions is not tone or politeness. It is who does the hard part. In the first version, the client. In the second, the person who knows the field.
The most polite question in the meeting
The source does not stay at the level of principle. It goes down to the sentence itself, and strikes out two phrasings.
The first is predictable: which do you want. It asks the client to choose between options they do not know.
The second catches a lot of people out: “What can I do for you?”
It sounds entirely polite, and it is the most common sentence in first meetings. But it too hands all the work to the client. The person who came to you to have something solved is asked to solve it themselves, before they even know what is possible.
Suppose an owner swaps the question what are you looking for for a simple request: that the client tells him what is going on at their end right now. The intent is the same, and this time nobody is being asked to rule on anything.
What to do instead of asking for a decision
The source offers an alternative, and it is not what you would expect. You show the person they are right to want what they want, and so the want grows stronger.
In practice, when a client voices any want at all, however partial or vague, your job is not to correct it and not to steer them to something else. What you do is tell them the want makes sense, and turn it up.
Suppose a client says he thinks he needs a new website. A reply that confirms it, that this is exactly what is holding him back, works. A reply that corrects him, that a website will not help and what he needs is something else, kills the conversation.
There is a warning attached. When someone is already holding out a hand for something, you do not pile something extra on top. According to the source, that is the quickest way to lose a sale that was already in your hands.
Suppose a client asks an owner for one service, and he offers a bigger package instead. The client buys nothing. At the moment someone has already decided to buy, an extra sale is not the opening. It is the biggest risk.
The rule comes back at the end of the meeting
The moment when breaking the rule is most tempting is the very last one. The meeting is ending, and all that seems left is to ask the client what they have decided.
The source brings the same rule back there. In its view, the less the offer requires a decision from the buyer, the better. And it adds a note worth keeping: strip out anything that looks like a sales trick, and just sell.
That does not mean the client can never choose anything. The difference is what they are choosing about. Picking which day to start is a choice about how. Asking which package they prefer, at the end of a meeting, loads them with a decision about whether, at the worst possible time.
It also explains why so many good meetings end on the same sentence. The client understands part of it, is asked to rule on all of it, and picks the one option that asks nothing more of them: to think about it.
The booklet has two exercises for this chapter, a spot-it exercise and a build-it exercise, plus self-check questions.
Every question that asks the client to rule before they understand passes them work that belongs to you. When you give them understanding, the decision comes from them.